shenming

My entire life I've been trying to figure out what this thing is that delegates my will.  It is something beyond my control.  I have never believed in free will.  For if I could will what my will will's then things would be very different.

Ten years ago I found that Immanuel Kant had come the closest to ascertaining this phenomenon. He wrote on it exhaustively in "The Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals". I left it, along with many questions about life the phenomena.

This morning, in meditation, I reached a place without words.  It was like I had forgotten what words were.  Of course, as soon as I realized it and began to wonder about what was happening words returned.

Later, I sat down to read the Huangdi Neijing (Chinese Materia Medica). In the footnotes:

shenming : Shen is the same word that is used for "god" but it has no religious meaning in Neijing. Here, shen refers to the spiritual force, or a supernatural power that is beyond the voluntary control of the mind.  Ming refers to the conscience, the moral judgement or the cognitive force.  The compound term shenming describes a higher level of mental activity, the psyche, which sustains life by constantly steering the body and mind towards goodness.  As the common saying goes, "There is shenming [a judicious spiritual force] three feet above the head" (ju tou san chi you shenming).